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August 4th, 2011

05:37 pm: Like a bad case of herpes, Eroica is BACK.
Summer holidays begin and I have nothing to do, and remembered I did this so YOU KNOW WHY NOT.
Oh you know what I am so excited about this...Collapse )

October 29th, 2010

01:11 am: Will rape appear?!
Ridiculous fanfiction summary I came across on my unfortuate trawling of FF.net

"[Female] had a fight with [Male]!Will her choice make her happier or a giant mess? Will rape appear! FIND OUT!"

WILL RAPE APPEAR?! WHERE DID THAT EVEN COME FROM?! It doesn't even have a QUESTION MARK, it's just a statement.

Will rape appear!

So now in my head Will Rape is like a mysognistic rapper. Will Rape appear an' he'z a bad mothafuka!

But seriously.

'So I had a fight with my boyfriend yesterday, god he's a dick...'
'WILL RAPE APPEAR?'
'...What? No. Jesus, we just argued about whether a viola was bigger than a violin, he's not going to RAPE me for it.'

The world of fanfiction never fails to make you wonder just how much stupider it can get.

September 19th, 2010

01:29 pm: Eroica III - It ain't over til the fat lady sings. Or at least invites you to a dinner party.
Moving on with the reading of 'From Eroica with Love' we finally get to see the drama REALLY unfold!

How do you start off an action/drama storyline?Collapse )

September 15th, 2010

05:44 pm: Eroica II - The Return of Erocia
The dazzling continuation of the sparkling manga featuring the twinkling lovechild of Axel Rose and Bonnie Tyler. From Eroica with Love!!

Now where were we...



Oh yeah. This g...u...y...

Gender issues and crazy people, just another day in the life of Eroica...Collapse )

September 10th, 2010

05:04 pm: A repost of the first part in my in depth and powerful analysis of the most retarded manga of all time.


From Erocia with loveCollapse )

September 9th, 2010

10:04 pm: Why I hate Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, ft. Inky

Fear: I must say, this annoyance of mine is largely [Alice in Wonderland]
movie based

Inky: ???

Fear: Because they DID IT ON FUCKIN PURPOSE

Inky: ????

Fear: You know, Jonny Depp as the Mad Hatter
Fear: And the whole TENSION THING with Alice

Inky: goddammit
Inky: I hated that
Inky: because they HINTED at it
Inky: HINTED
Inky: and then for NO REASON she just goes back

Fear: I dislike that it was there at all

Inky: to the boring-ass real world where she has no friends and no real prospects and no adventure.

Fear: Because it fucks the canon, ruins what the hatter originally was and stood for

Inky: Like, why put it in at all if it amounts to nothing and makes no sense?

Fear: It's like OH HUR DUR I AM THE HATTER
Fear: I AM ONLY MAD BECAUSE OF *DARK TRAUMA IN MY PAST*
Fear: BOO HOO HOO

Inky: llllllllllllllllllllllol

Fear: NO WAIT YOU DIPSHIT THIS IS ALICE IN WONDERLAND

Inky: WHY CAN'T HE JUST BE MAD GORRAMMIT

Fear: YOU'RE THE *MAD HATTER* YOU ABSOLUTE WANKER
Fear: And they just turned the March Hare into a bit of incoherant CGI
Fear: IT'S OKAY GUYS, DON'T WORRY THAT WE TOTALLY BORKED UP THE ENTIRE THING OF THE MAD HATTER AND MARCH HARE BEING ONE AND THE SAME AND BOTH AS USELESS TO ALICE AS THE OTHER
Fear: WE DECIDED A MORE LEGIT THING TO DO WOULD BE TO MAKE THE MARCH HARE AN INSIGNIFICANT BLIP OF ANIMATION WITH NO CHARACTER WHOSE ONLY SIGNIFICANT LINE IS 'SPOON'

Inky: yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah he's not really mad in SyFy's Alice either, but then again, the only one who is really "mad" is The White Knight

Fear: AND THE HATTER CAN BE LIKE ALICE'S FRIEND AND LOVE INTEREST AND GUIDE AND HE CAN HAVE A DARK PAST AND SHIT
Fear: No, Tim Burton, just NO
Fear: It could've been SO AWESOME

Inky: It could have.
Inky: Why is it that if they really wanted a romance he couldn't have just been mad
Inky: how is madness and romance mutually exclusive huh

Fear: But instead we got a shitty rip off of American McGee's alice with a load of famous names as VA and more character in the costumes than the acting
Fear: Fuckin' hollywood
Fear: Because it's not cash to show characters that aren't clearly heroes
Fear: The entire sodding POINT in Alice in Wonderland is that NO ONE HELPS HER
Fear: Because they're all fucking nutters
Fear: the only morally ambigous character in the movie was the cheshire cat
Fear: Which is one of the only good aspects of it
Fear: They got the Chesire Cat right
Fear: But the rest was all wrong
Fear: The Hatter ESPECIALLY
Fear: And as much as I hate to say it
Fear: The Catterpillar

Inky: *thoroughly enjoying this*

Fear: I love Alan Rickman, yo

Inky: oh yes

Fear: But that Catterpillar was AWFUL

Inky: it's not the actors' faults the movie was shit

Fear: He was like some mildly rude high prophet
Fear: He was all OH LOOK THE FUCK AT ME
Fear: I AM MYSTEROUS AND SAY WHAT I MEAN AND MEAN WHAT I SAY
Fear: LOOK THE FUCK AT ME
Fear: LETS BRING OUT THE PROPHECY
Fear: BECAUSE WHAT WONDERLAND, THE REPRESENTATION OF THE CHILD'S IMAGINATION, REALLY NEEDS
Fear: IS A PROPHECY THAT DICTATES EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS ON EVERY SINGLE DAY
Fear: WHAT'S THAT NOISE. NO, DON'T WORRY. JUST CARROL TURNING IN HIS GRAVE.
Fear: DANNY ELFMAN CAN COMPOSE OVER THAT

Inky: ROFL
Inky: I love youuuuu
Inky: i'd comment but it's like you're doing a far better job than I could ever hope for.

Arwen Woods: XD

Fear: I just had to stop to get my rice pudding

Inky: SyFy's Alice I had my doubts about

Fear: I don't mind modernisations and remakes and new versions

Inky: but if you take it like what it is - something with wonderful draws on the original story but with a completely different spin - it's really good
Inky: plus the characters are awesome
Inky: and the actors are really good

Fear: I mean the ideas are all great

Inky: and it's just REALLY creative.

Fear: But it's like, don't try to SELL something as something it's not

Inky: Tim burton's Alice...
Inky: was a ripoff in all these different ways
Inky: none of them good.

Fear: EXACTLY

Inky: Oh let's pull from American McGee and make it creepy!
Inky: BUT we also want it to be wacky!
Inky: AND THERE'S A PROPHECY!

Justaco Briner: THE FUTTERWHACKEN

Fear: NO
Fear: NO

Inky: They wanted this middle ground because they couldn't pick what they wanted the fucking movie's tone to be

Fear: DON'T GET ME FUCKING STARTED
Fear: ON THAT DANCE

Justaco Briner: Bahahahaha

Fear: OH GOD

Inky: But ultimately it just made it lukewarm and extremely subpar

Justaco Briner: I haven't seen any of that movie but that dance.

Fear: IT'S LIKE THEY SAT DOWN
Fear: AND WERE LIKE

Justaco Briner: But I cried enough to not want to have any part of it.

Fear: WHAT GOES REALLY WELL WITH ORCHESTRAL MUSIC, OLD FASHIONED THEMES, VICTORIAN SETTINGS, AND FANTASY
Fear: I KNOW. TECHNO MUSIC.

Justaco Briner: Johnny Depp's gotta get out of Tim Burton's grasp again.

Fear: Then the SFX department came down and they were like HEY MR. BURTON WE'VE STILL GOT A WHOLE AFTERNOON OF WORK TO DO BUT WE'VE FINISHED EVERYTHING ELSE
Fear: And he was like HERE IS JONNY DEPP DANCING
Fear: DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO IT
Fear: I DON'T GIVE A FUCK MAN I AM TIM BURTON

Inky: PFHAHAHAHAHA
Inky: And then at the end
Inky: when she's like
Inky: LOOKIT ME I'm A MODERN WOMAN STANDING UP TO VICTORIAN SOCIETY

Fear: Oh GOD

Inky: DON'T YOU LOVE HOW TOTALLY WELL THIS WOULD GO IRL

Justaco Briner: Bahahaha

Fear: I KNOW
Fear: I WAS ABOUT TO SAY THAT

Inky: "AND ONE MORE THING"
Inky: *RETARD DANCE*

Fear: LOOK AT ME I AM STANDING UP AND GOING TO FORGE MY WAY IN THE WORLD
Fear: I AM GOING TO BE A SUCESSFUL PARTNER IN A HUGE TRADING BUSINESS

Inky: And then her life becomes a tale of woe as she discovers NO ONE FUCKING WANTS TO DO BUSINESS WITH WOMEN

Fear: OH WAIT SHIT NO I AM IN THE 1800s

Inky: AND EVERYONE THINKS SHE IS RIDICULOUS

Fear: PEOPLE THINK THAT I AM THE PROPERTY OF MY HUSBAND

Inky: AND REALLY THERE WAS NO REASON FOR HER TO LEAVE WONDERLAND AT ALL.

Fear: So true
Fear: Oh oh oh
Fear: AND THE WHOLE GIVING ALL THE CHARACTERS NEW NAMES
Fear: WHY, TIM BURTON?
Fear: WHY?
Fear: IT CAN'T BE TO MAKE IT EASIER TO UNDERSTAND
Fear: BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS THESE CHARACTERS

Inky: TARRANT HIGHTOPP

Fear: IN FACT, IT IS MORE CONFUSING

Inky: Tim Burton: Oh yeah. Tarrant Hightopp. I'm clever as FUCK.

Fear: EXACTLY
Fear: PEOPLE, SHIT, THEY'RE GONNA THINK I'M SO ORIGINAL
Fear: NOW
Fear: 'WONDERLAND'
Fear: 'WOOOOOONDUUUURRRLAND'
Fear: 'ONNNNDUURLAND?'
Fear: 'UNNNDERLAND?'
Fear: UNDERLAND!
Fear: PERFECT
Fear: Oh shit NO, Tim Burton
Fear: That doesn't make FUCK ALL SENSE
Fear: What the hell does UNDER-LAND mean

Inky: "You were such a silly child, calling it WONDERland, like THAT makes sense"

Fear: IS IT UNDERGROUND, TIM
Fear: IS THAT IT

Inky: "So why is it called Underland then, huh?"
Inky: "WELL FUCK IF WE KNOW"

Fear: Exactly
Fear: And it's like TIM, TIM, THIS IS NOT WORKING
Fear: YOU CAN'T MAKE IT 'CRAZY AND RANDOM' BY JUST NAMING SHIT DIFFERENT STUFF



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